


Honestly, What The Hell?

by Sasugaafee



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, AnsutaNL, Archery club as police officer, F/M, Humor, Not Beta Read, This is actually supposed to be a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 11:29:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17682599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasugaafee/pseuds/Sasugaafee
Summary: When an unknown police officer arrested her out of the blue and started asking personal questions that didn’t have anything to do with the case, she knew she’d be trapped in a fucked up situation she never imagined before.“So, do you have any relation with the victim? How about your age? Taken or single?”“No, I don’t think I know the person. I’m 20 years old and I’m sing—hold up.”





	Honestly, What The Hell?

When an unknown police officer charged at her out of the blue, saying “You’re under arrest” or something along the lines and handcuffing her hands, she knew she’d be trapped in a fucked up situation she never imagined before.

“Sit there.”

When the orange-haired man brought her inside an interrogation room, them sitting face-to-face with only a single table in between, she knew she’d be trapped with a troublesome kind of person she had never encounter before.

Her eyes glanced at his name tag—Tsukinaga Leo.

She remembered she was just taking a leisure walk around the park with her friends when suddenly she heard a woman screamed, a pick-pocketing if she remembered correctly. After that, she saw the pickpocket ran passed her while being chased by a police, yet for some reason the officer arrested her instead of continue chasing the pickpocket.

The whole thing was just _extremely_ absurd.

As it was rather quiet inside the room, she tensed at every tapping sound his finger made on the wooden table.

“Excuse me—“

“Soooo…” he spoke, hand on chin. “Miss Anzu, is it? Scratch that, I’ll just call you Anzu. Oh, you can just call me Leo by the way! Ucchuuu Anzu~!”

Hearing how nonchalant the man called her name and did peace signs with both his hands without minding even a little bit of the fact he just rudely cut her words, she blinked, before eventually nodded. “Ngg… u-ucchuu?” She didn’t know what was that supposed to mean but it wasn’t like she had much choice at the moment anyway.

“Wahahaha, good! Alright, I’ll begin the interrogation,” The man who called himself Leo took out his pen and note then looked at her, “Anzu, can you tell me the reason why are you in the crime scene when the incident took place?”

“As I said, it was a coincidence and I was just walking with—“

“Mhm, that’s enough. Do you have any criminal records?”

“Uhm, no? You were the one who suddenly arrested me without any clear reas—“

“Hold it right there,” he lifted his hand; stopping her once again before writing something on his note. “For you to make an accusation on me, interesting. You’re a really interesting person, aren’t you?”

Anzu jawdropped at his ignorance, the guy in front of her had no plan to listen to her at all. It was like a pointless one-way conversation with him selfishly interpreting things the way he wanted to. She didn’t know what he kept writing and she didn’t understand why that person kept on grinning cheerfully. It was frustrating, not to mention vexing.

_Lord, please just let me go home. I promise I'll be a good girl._

“Move on, you know time’s ticking. Do you have any relation with the victim? How about your age? Taken or single?”

“No, I don’t think I know the person. I’m 20 years old and I’m sing—hold up.”

“Shush. I’m doing an interrogation here, Anzu. Please cooperate,” he glared at her sharply. Anzu immediately shut her mouth; leaving the confusion in the back of her mind. “Next, where did you hide the woman’s bag?”

_What the hell,_ _cut it out already._

“I TOLD YOU I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT,” she slammed the table. “I JUST SAW HIM RAN PASSED ME. YOU ARRESTED THE WRONG PERSON!”

Leo widened his eyes, quite taken aback at her sudden outburst, before laughing in amusement. “You're a bold girl! I like you a lot, I love you!” He closed his note then stood up and started walking around her. “That’s fine if you don’t want to admit. Most criminals don’t after all. Polices are used to it, so it wouldn’t work.”

He didn’t listen to her even the slightest bit, she let out one long exasperated sigh. At this point she was too tired to care anymore.

“Hmn? Why do you look so tired, Anzu? This is just a simple interrogation, you know??”

_Patience is tested, soul is tired, mind is hazed. Just continue your way, go on. Don’t mind me._

“Anyway, what’s your current job?”

“I’m still a college student.”

"Which one?"

"Kimisaki."

“I see,” he nodded. “I shall visit you at your college someday soon then.”

_Wait, he will what?_

“What's your zodiac and blood type? Anything you like recently?”

Anzu started questioning whether this was an actual interrogation or not, this was already way beyond suspicious. These personal questions didn’t have anything to do with the case. “I’m a Taurus, type-A. I’m into Trickstar nowadays.”

Yet, she found herself answering them.

“Hooo… Your taste isn’t bad, but I personally like Knights better. That doesn’t matter, though. I respect your preferences. Ah, anywaaay!” Leo clapped his hands; showing a broad grin. “I’m a Taurus, type-O. Wahaha, we’re definitely a perfect match~!”

"... Pardon?“

He hummed in delight as he returned to his seat; once again writing on his note while paying no mind to her complaints. The situation kept getting weirder and weirder, Anzu could no longer register what was actually happening.

If he just wanted to talk, getting rid of this handcuff would be nice. Just saying.

Looking a bit closely when he wasn't talking, he got fine features that she gotta admit. It was such a pity there's something wrong with his head, probably.

“What about your hobby?”

“Uh, I like drawing and sewing.”

“Oh, I like composing songs in my free time but your hobbies sound nice too! You must be quite skillful with your hands~” He casually held her hands which were placed on the table after she slammed it minutes ago. “Take care of them well, alright?”

He smiled, and Anzu faintly blushed. She swore her heart just skipped a beat for a moment there. It caught her off-guard. _Gosh, what in the world was that?_ Did she develop a stockholm syndrome? A freaking suspension-bridge effect? Something definitely started going wrong in her mind, she should really search for a way to get out of this situation.

“Hmmhmhmmm… Next question, what is your LINE—“

“TSUKINAGA LEO.”

“No, not my LINE ID. I mean, yours. Or do you want mine? Crap, I forgot! Wait, let me check it!”

When she was lost in her own thought, suddenly someone slammed the door open; calling his name with overwhelming rage as he stomped his way towards them. Anzu could almost see dark aura roamed around the person that she shuddered in fright. In contrary, the mentioned man was still grinning. He was having fun in his own world.

"Actually, behind y—“

“Shush, Anzu. Give me time to check my LINE ID. Oh, here it is—“

“No one needs your LINE ID, you scoundrel.”

Finally noticing someone else’s voice from behind him, Leo turned to the sight of a green-haired man; squinting at him menacingly behind his glasses. “Who gave you permission to use the interrogation room as you like, Tsukinaga? Capturing an innocent citizen on top of that, how incorrigible. You’re a poor excuse of a police.”

Feeling the tense atmosphere, the poor girl gulped in her seat. It was a good thing this person seemed like he’d save her, though. _That’s right, please kick some sense to that guy_ , Anzu silently thought.

“Hey, don’t disturb me grrr you’re so noisy! Keito, you son of a bitc—“

Instead of turning scared like a normal person supposed to, Leo fumed in equal annoyance instead. He was about to curse, but Keito slapped his mouth. Somehow it kinda reminded her of a mother scolding her son for saying foul words. 

“You’re still my subordinate here. At least show some respect,” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Anyway, I’ll give you three minutes to explain what you're doing.”

“Huh? What’s wrong with interrogating a criminal?”

Keito stared at him in disbelief. “The pickpocket was already caught while you’re busy dealing with your false accusation. Seriously, what are you even thinking?”

“Nggh I’m thinking about how to make her admit her crime??”

“SHE’S INNOCENT FOR GOD’S SAKE, TSUKINAGA. LISTEN WHEN SOMEONE’S TALKING! YOU WERE ONLY ASKING HER PERSONAL QUESTIONS UNRELATED TO THE CASE, WEREN’T YOU?”

“This is important to learn more about her! Like, you know, whether she’s lying or not, yeah?”

“QUIT BLUFFING AND RELEASE HER AT ONCE.”

“No way, I haven’t asked her to give me the name of her social media or email address!”

“I DON'T CARE, TSUKINAGA. GET OUT.”

“Hey, I can’t follow her updates if I don’t know her SNS account! What are you gonna do about it, huh!?”

“gET OUT.”

“But—“

Before he could say another word, suddenly a dark-haired man appeared behind him; knocking him unconscious. Then another man, looking younger than the rest, came out to help him drag Leo outside. “We’re truly sorry for the inconvenience he brought upon a lady like you, please get home safely,” he managed to bow politely at her before leaving.

After he calmed down, Keito let out a really long sigh. "There go several years of my life expectancy. That guy is one of the reasons I'll probably die young.”

“Uhm, excuse me?”

“Ah, right,” noticing her existence, Keito quickly unlocked her cuff. “I deeply apologize for his nonsenses. He just… got a few screws loose in his head, that’s all.”

“That’s alright, it’s over anyway,” Anzu smiled awkwardly. “Thank you very much, I’ll excuse myself then.”

In the way home, Anzu sighed in relief. What she experienced today felt surreal. She was only planning to have fun with her friends, who knows she would end up in a complicated situation instead. _Maybe I just got bad luck today, I should've checked my luck before going out_ , she thought as she shrugged the whole problem off.

Little did she knew, there was something she forgot.

 

* * *

 

“Angie, looks like someone’s waiting for you in front of the gate.”

“… Who?”

It was on a perfectly normal day when she found a familiar figure lurking around her college gate. His orange hair stood out among the crowd, none other than the very person who accused her of pickpocketing a few days ago. To think he would come here, the girl was utterly dumbfounded.

“Ah, Anzu!!” Leo called out to her excitedly as soon as he saw her. “Ucchuu! I’m getting a day off, so I thought today would be nice to see you~”

He waved his hand in front of her face when she just stared at him without saying anything, “Hello, earth to Anzu? Are you that surprised? Back then I did say I will visit you soon, didn’t I??”

 _Ah, he did say that._ Her eyes widened in realization.

She thought it was just something he said on a whim, no one should blame her for not expecting this at all.

Leo grabbed her hand while she was still dazed by his sudden appearance, “Looks like you’re already done for today so accompany me for a bit, will you? This is also to make up for that thing the other day! It will be fun, I promise!”

Finally Anzu sighed in defeat.

“It should be a guaranteed fun, alright? I'm still quite mad.”

“Of course, of course~!!”

Seemed like that problematic situation wasn’t the end of everything after all.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic comes with art i commissioned, which is my icon


End file.
